Feed the Birds

Mary Poppins told Michael & Jane about a woman who sat on the steps of the cathedral to feed the birds every day. She wondered if their father ever saw the bird woman as he bustled to and from work everyday.

Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's
The little old bird woman comes.
In her own special way to the people she calls,
"Come, buy my bags full of crumbs.

Come feed the little birds, show them you care
And you'll be glad if you do.
Their young ones are hungry,
Their nests are so bare;
All it takes is tuppence from you."

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.
"Feed the birds," that's what she cries,
While overhead, her birds fill the skies.

All around the cathedral the saints and apostles
Look down as she sells her wares.
Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling
Each time someone shows that he cares.

Though her words are simple and few,
Listen, listen, she's calling to you:
"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag."

Like Michael & Jane Banks' father, I have been missing a lot of beauty and joy as I have kept my head down working through the hustle and bustle of each day. I definitely haven't been feeding my three little birds. During this busy season as a CPA's wife I have felt like I have just been plowing through and the tunnel won't end until May. It's ok. This isn't to be a pity-me post. It's more of a wake-up call to myself.

I wake up around 7 am. Feed the kids. Soak the oatmeal bowls. Exercise. Hound my kids to make their beds and get dressed. I watch them practice their musical instruments. I lock them out of my room while I take a frenzied shower. I try and clean up, but then it's time for lunch. I do everyone's hair while they are eating (so that they can't run away). I herd everyone into the van so we can get Chloe to Kindergarten. When we get home, I am ready for a break, but my other two girls are ready for me to play. Sometimes I can sneak away after engaging my children in a computer game or a show. Each afternoon is a balance between giving attention to my kids and cleaning up my house. It's always a struggle. Usually I feel like I'm in limbo: listening to my arguing kiddos while my mind is on my to-do list and my body is in a stagnant position between both. By the time Chloe comes home I haven't received the down time I feel I deserve so I fight for it in the afternoon. Dinner is never ready when I should have it ready (or if it is ready nobody wants to eat what I've fixed). Kids are grumpy, hungry and tired. It always feels like a snail-paced race to bedtime. I'm frantic trying to bathe, feed and engage my children but bedtime never comes soon enough. When they are in bed at 8:00 I start to decompress. However, my house is still not picked up, the oatmeal bowls are still soaking, so my mind and my body begin another struggle. By the end of a few TV shows I pick up the mess that is my house and then wait for sleep to catch me. My favorite thing right now is to fall asleep in my clothes on the couch either watching TV or reading a book. However, with this new love come late nights and tired mornings.
What happened to my life? What happened to having life in order? What happened to sitting down and DOING the craft with my kids? What happened to washing my face before I go to bed? What happened to limiting television intake? Why do I always feel like I need to be cleaning? When did I stop being a nurturer and become a caretaker? Does anyone have any advice or encouragement for me? I need to get back to the joys of motherhood. Is it possible to enjoy time with kids and have a clean house with an hour-long break for mom? What's the secret? I don't want to miss the fun stuff because I'm constantly busy; I want to feed my birds!!!!!